There are certain things that can come up in a marriage which can pose threats to its happiness. Somewhere near the top comes the matter of nagging: constant fault-finding, and when it is over trivial things, it can be very frustrating from whichever partner it comes.
You may have heard of the lady who bought her husband two very nice neck-ties for Christmas, one was red and the other was blue. He was delighted and decided to wear the red one at Christmas dinner to show his appreciation. When his wife saw it, she said, "You didn't like the blue one then?"
Or, let us overhear two fictitious conversations. It's a cold day and a husband comes into the house forgetting to shut the door. The wife shouts, "For goodness sake shut that door, were you born in a field?" Hardly the way to welcome him when he comes home from work. Why not "You've left the door open love", which will immediately prompt him to close it with a willing apology. The wife's attitude creates the atmosphere for an apology without asking for it.
In another conversation, the couple are getting into the car and the husband is wearing his top coat and it's not very cold. A nagging wife would say, "You're not going to drive in that coat are you? You'll be sweltered. Look at me, I'm only wearing so-and-so..." Why not "It's rather warm today dear, do you think you will need your coat?" "No, I don't think I do” he replies and takes it off. Dad doesn't feel nagged, Mum's happy and they both enjoy the journey.
There are two words to studiously avoid in marriage. They are 'always' and 'never' when the conversation gets heated.
Another flashpoint is the showing of disrespect for one another. We all have our failings, but there is no need to tell the world about them. We should always defend our partners and stand up for them, and this goes for the children too. Instead of telling everybody at the Women's Institute that your husband could not knock a nail in straight to save his life, why not say, "My husband is not the practical type, but he's a wizard with figures, and you should hear him on the piano!"
Does it not occur to the offending party who runs down their spouse that they are only advertising the fact that they made such a blunder when they agreed to marry?
I don’t suggest that we go as far as that of a minister and his wife with whom we stayed in America. They would in all seriousness occasionally refer to one another as sir or madam; but it was refreshing to witness such courtesy.