“Heirs together of the grace of life."
1 Peter 3.7
“Marriage the happiest bond of love might be lf hands were only joined when hearts agree."
Baron Lansdowne (Heroic Love)
There are three Divinely-appointed institutions. They are, Government, Church and Marriage. At creation Eve was brought to Adam and they two became one flesh. Jesus confirmed this in Matthew 19:4 when He said, "Have ye not read in the beginning He (God) made them male and female?" The Bible also makes it clear that marriage is an honourable estate; sacred enough to warrant it being compared with the relationship of Christ with the Church (Eph. 5:22). Nor is it inferior to the single state, and where St Paul praises the latter, it is rather because the celibate can devote more time to the Lord's service.
In one of Bernard Shaw's plays, there is an episode centred around the subject of marriage. The folk discussing it had modern ideas, arguing that the institution was out-dated, and as they lived in more liberated times, it should be discarded. In the proposed re-arranging of things however, they realised the need of safeguards; no one should get hurt, and there should be consideration for any children that would be involved. After much debating they came to the conclusion that if one man loved one woman for life, that would be for the best. They came back to the concept of Christian marriage.
Although marriage is a contract between two people at the start, its effects go much wider. The children are vitally affected for up to twenty years of their lives, and even after that, home influences still affect them. A good marriage is a pillar of society.
There is a heavy cost when a marriage fails. Apart from the personal trauma for the couple concerned, and the shattering blow to the children, there is a financial cost for society to bear. A report from the Department of Health and Social Security showed the kind of figures paid out in a two-year period because of broken marriages. For children taken into care it was £180 million; Supplementary benefits were £500 million, Single parents benefits £52 million; Legal aid for divorce proceedings £30 million and Legal advice assistance £7 million. A total of £769 million!
I am not an authority on marriage, and I still do not know all the answers, although I've heard most of the questions. I doubt if I would win a 'Husband-of-the-Year' award, but I am working on it! For Christians there is no doubt that the quality of our lives in the home does have an effect on the quality of our worship in the Church.
On the North American continent, the women tend to be given a favoured status, which has made for a matriarchal society. In eastern countries however, the women tend to be given a more subservient role.
I think perhaps that in western Europe we have got it about right, holding a good balance and regarding marriage as a partnership where things are agreed together with the husband endorsing final decisions on major questions. Although Ephesians 5 does call for the wife's submission to the husband, it is quickly followed by a delightful corrective when it bids the husband to love his wife. Those two attitudes are complimentary and make for a truly Christian marriage. Husbands and wives should give each other space to develop their own particular talents, ideas, opinions, personalities and ministries.
When my wife and I visited California, I was due to speak at a fairly large Church in Eureka. (Yes, we found it!) There were two morning services, and between them there was an adult Bible class. They call it Sunday school, and we were invited to sit in on the Marrieds' group which the pastor was to address. He talked of the need for husbands to make gestures to their wives, assuring them of their love, and during the following discussion one of the younger wives said how much she agreed with him on that point. She said, “We don't always ask for candle-lit dinners or expensive bouquets of flowers. Just a pinch on the backside can mean so much!"
Well, that's one very inexpensive way of keeping a marriage in good shape, but please dear reader bear in mind that the author cannot be held responsible for any further delinquent behaviour by husbands caused by the reading of this book!