What is Truth? ...continued

WHAT ABOUT THE DIPLOMATIC LIE?

This kind of untruth is often used when telling the straight truth might upset others' feelings, or may be used as an excuse when something has been forgotten etc. And what about those who are suffering from terminal illness? The doctor would be sure to inform the family, but how should the patient be told?

There was the case of an old lady who was in this category, but the problem solved itself. She knew the seriousness of her condition, but would not discuss it with her loved ones because she did not want them to get upset. The family also knew her condition but would not discuss it with her lest she should get upset!

In another case there was a lady whose husband was terminally ill, but he didn't realise it. She was afraid to talk about it, and because of this she suffered from a guilt complex. In her situation she was not telling a lie, but felt that she was living a lie.

People differ as to how much they can be told, but there must come a time when honesty must be served. Doctors do not play games with patients, and will at some point convey the position to the sufferer. This is only fair, because everyone should be given the opportunity to get their houses in order, materially and spiritually.

On the lighter side of the diplomatic mis-leaders, there are ways of dealing with situations evasively. Politicians are notorious mis-leaders. They will not answer a question if they feel that it will somehow incriminate them or their party. so the interviewer is treated to some complicated verbiage which sounds very impressive but skips the real answer. One member of Parliament on the BBC TODAY programme was asked the same question eight times.. still to no avail.

What about diplomacy on the domestic front? When the children ask where babies come from, or who is Santa Claus? What if the lady of the house buys a new dress and asks the family's opinion of it? If the observations are not too positive, however diplomatic they are voiced, the lady will read between the lines and sure enough the dress will be on its way back to the shop the next day. We have a friend who bought a very beautiful striking red blouse. When she asked her son what he thought about it, he said "Mum you look as though you're going to play for Manchester United!" Only a son could say that. Perhaps if the family went shopping with mum, they could make a 'united' choice!

There are times when innocent evasion is acceptable such as occasions when a surprise party is being planned etc.

Some years ago a certain drink was being advertised as a drink that reaches parts that no other drink could reach. It was reported that someone made a complaint (possibly frivolously) to the Advertising Standards Agency that the advertisement was not strictly true. The drink could not reach parts that other drinks couldn't. But the objection was dismissed on the grounds that the public knew that it was just a humorous way of advertising and no one was being deceived.

In journalism and radio work I have conducted seminars for would-be writers. It is not a pleasant thing to inform anyone that they are not up to the grade, but it can be done graciously and honestly. It may result in disappointment; after all they had travelled a long way to come to the seminar and they were very enthusiastic to present their efforts. The last thing they need is heavy criticism. In many cases they showed potential and they needed encouragement to continue in their studies, but others, who, with the best of consideration, would obviously not make it, and to pretend that they had a future would, in the long run be unfair to them. If of course we discovered at a later date that we had made a mistake, well, good for them!