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What every Church Leader needs to know

In providing support Network

I believe this is a role that the church is excellent in fulfilling and has an importance that cannot be understated. The church may well have qualified counsellors and trainers but a support network is vital to the survivor.

The support network is based at its most natural, in the relationships/friendships already built by the survivor both inside and outside the church, who for the most part will not be trained listeners. The church has the opportunity to incorporate trained listeners within the support network.

The person's support network may or may not include: doctors, nurses, friends, family, the local barman, shop assistants, receptionists, clergy, church members or even a one-off acquaintance. Yet obviously some will play a greater role than others at different times. It may well be healthy to identify people the survivor could speak to within the church as being equipped to support them.

The support network is needed most when the survivor is experiencing flashbacks, under stress or being pressured by others, particularly family. Memories in the form of flashbacks or dreams can be very unnerving, putting them through feelings of doubt, guilt, fear, anger etc. This is the time the support network is often called upon, and its primary focus is to support the survivor as they encounter memories, rather than drawing conclusions or suggesting possible scenarios.

The stresses of life can be difficult enough without the burden of abusive memories and so when a crisis of some sort hits a family such as the death of a loved one, the stress felt by the survivor is increased. It is at times like this that the support group comes into its own by providing a safety net for the survivor, enabling them to talk either about the stress or about everyday things.

We are all susceptible to pressure from family and our peers, but for survivors peer pressure and family pressure can become irresistible to the point of being abusive in itself. The support network must realise that support must include the survivor being encouraged to take control of the decision-making processes in their life.

Because of the informal nature of the support network, church leaders should never try to control or manipulate the group but will need to watch carefully so that the survivor is supported in ways that are healthy, appropriate and righteous. However, there may be little or no action the church can take if the client chooses to talk to unsuitable people.

PLEASE REMEMBER, at the heart of every Christian support network will be prayer. Prayer is an essential part of the support group's ministry.

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